i jhust puked up my retainher.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Never underestimate the power of titties
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize