Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
