We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
