If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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