So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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