Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
