Do you still have your period?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
