hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just cut my nipple shaving
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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