just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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