I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize