i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
