I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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