I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
