Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Hippo gnu deer
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
