Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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