I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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