i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
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you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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