I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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