I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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