I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
God, I missed his penis.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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