put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
