my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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