you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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