a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
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The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?