Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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