so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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