His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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