i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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