And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Please don't give away my fajitas
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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