I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
