He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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