I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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