oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Floor bacon is actually really good
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