One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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