she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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