Dual....:-)
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
