You're so nebulous sometimes
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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