I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
