you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
