i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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