i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
