I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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