I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
