My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize