i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
