My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
