i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Randomize
