Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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