I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
