I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize
