the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She's the barista slut.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
