i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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