do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
